Writing on the Doorposts

Sometimes I feel like I am balancing so many things.

Homeschooling. Fostering. Tae Kwon Do. Parenting a teen. Housework. Parenting a pre-teen. Teaching. My own spiritual life. Cooking and health. Admin. Friendships. Writing. Supporting family. Creating a Spirit-filled home. Research and learning. Being a wife.

I truly love every single of one these parts of my life. (Well – maybe not the housework so much…) And when people ask how I am, I always answer – truthfully – ‘Busy! But good busy.’

Yet whilst I love the blessings of these varied callings, there are times when I feel like I haven’t got enough to give fully to each one. Recently I’ve found myself feeling like I’m not living up to a high enough standard. Guilt creeps in, and I worry that I am dropping a ball somewhere. There is so much more I could do, if only I put in more time.

But time is limited.

And the thing is, God knows that. He knew that when He called my family to foster; when He blessed me with an ASD and ADHD child; when He inspired me to write: when He placed a passion for Tae Kwon Do in my heart; when He entrusted me with a home, family and friends. He knew that when He gave me every additional purpose in my life, and He didn’t miscalculate my time or abilities.

Peter, a friend of Jesus, wrote that through ‘God’s divine power’ we have everything we need, both for this life and for eternity. And in Hebrews 13 we are reminded again that it is God who equips us to do His will.

So yes, of course there is more I could do. But God knows what is enough. If He has given me a work to do, He will see it through and supply what I lack. I don’t need to fret at what I can’t accomplish. Instead, I need to trust in Him to meet me in my weakness and perform His own feats of strength. When I take my tasks to Him in prayer and ask for His grace, wisdom and strength, I am relieved of the pressure to perform. Instead I can delight in what He has entrusted to me.

I am balancing so many things. But God is steadying my hands.