Lessons from my son

May 22, 2014 at 12:00 pm (Children's perspective, Guest Post, Parenting)
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With thanks to my dear friend Monique for writing her second guest post here at Writing on the Doorposts!

I became a mom two and a half years ago and I remember thinking, ‘I have so much to teach my baby boy.’ The thought was rather overwhelming at the time. Actually to be honest, I was scared of such a responsibility. My prayers increased as I cradled, fed, nurtured, burped, and changed him. Now that two and a half years have passed, God has shown me something amazing. While I am training up my child Thaddeus, he is, at the same time, teaching me life-changing lessons. There are several lessons I have learned, but here I will list three.

Beauty

“While I am training up my child Thaddeus, he is, at the same time, teaching me life-changing lessons.”

Open your eyes. My son Thaddeus has taught me to open my eyes to my surroundings. His curious nature allows him to point and say, “Look Mama, ant!” I can tell you that without my two year old’s keen vision I would have missed the opportunity to see the busy ant walking back and forth to its anthill (Proverbs 30:24-25).  Another example is when I’m carrying Thaddeus and he waves to the person behind us in the checkout line at the store. Without him doing that, I might have easily forged ahead with my errands and not stopped to speak to the person behind me in line.

Enjoy the moment. Thaddeus loves life! He is full of energy and doesn’t let things wear him down. As an adult, I get caught up in the worries of this life, such as paying bills. It is important, as an adult, to be responsible and take care of what God has given us, but we must also enjoy each breath God has blessed us with and live for each moment.

Keep looking up. Thaddeus looks up a lot searching for airplanes in the sky. When he sees one, he shouts with glee, “Airdplan!” This has reminded me to look up more, figuratively speaking. My Heavenly Father is up in Heaven and my life here should consist of “ups.” I should be living my life in such a way that people will want to look up and know more of my Father. My desire is to live one day in my heavenly home with my God.

I am so thankful to have been blessed with the role of “mom” in this life. It’s a beautiful thing to see life through the eyes of a child.

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Guest Post: He is with me

May 6, 2014 at 12:22 pm (Christian life, Guest Post, Personal development)
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With thanks to my sweet friend Leigh Roberts for writing today’s encouraging Guest Post.

He is With Me

One thing I’ve learned from being a mom is that Quiet Time with God comes in different shapes and sizes. Sometimes finding quiet moments alone with Him can be rare, especially when you have two kids under two. I found making time for Him especially tough after my son was born trying to adapt to new schedules and lack of sleep. And frankly, I failed a lot. Some days – okay, most days – I chose sleep over Quiet Time with Him (and when I did stop to talk to Him, my prayers consisted of a one-sided, five-second imploring: “Please help me not to pull out all my hair today.”) But I do believe in the importance of journaling, especially as mothers – storing moments in our hearts like Mary to remember forgotten blessings and answered prayers. One day I finally found an uninterrupted moment to write – so many blessings that I needed to record – and noticed my last entry had been in October, right after my son’s birth.

And it was December.

I was also behind in my daily devotional readings, but I found amazing grace in the passage that day. A passage from a book I found on my grandmother’s bookshelf, Streams in the Desert. A passage meant for October that touched me in December…

God’s timing is like that.

"He is always waiting, even when I am hiding. I always find Him there. His patience with me on days when I feel inadequate. On days when I fall short."

“He is always waiting, even when I am hiding. I always find Him there. His patience with me on days when I feel inadequate. On days when I fall short.”

I found hope in these following words: “There is an inarticulate fellowship, more sweet than words. The little child can sit all day long beside its busy mother and, although few words spoken on either side, and both are busy, the one at his absorbing play, the other at her engrossing work, yet both are in perfect fellowship. He knows that she is there, and she knows that he is all right. So the saint and the Savior can go on for hours in the silent fellowship of love, and he be busy about the most common things, and yet conscious that every little thing he does is touched with the complexion of His presence, and the sense of His approval and blessing.” (C.E. Cowman)

So my goal this year has been to look for Him in the Ordinary Moments of Motherhood. Not just in certain places or postures but In the Chaos and Cleft of the Rock. He is always waiting, even when I am hiding. I always find Him there. His patience with me on days when I feel inadequate. On days when I fall short.

On days when everything is a battle and my kitchen counter looks like Armageddon, when my son needs my bosom and I need Christ’s…

Like a weaned child is my soul within me….as a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you.

On days when I cannot measure up to that oh-so-annoying Proverbs 31 woman who awoke every morning before the crack of dawn…

He surrounds me with other moms’ stories of failures and kind words of support.

On days when I am drowning in guilt. And dirty diapers. On days when I fail…

He reminds me that I tried and that His mercies are new every morning. 

On days when I don’t have enough hands and I envy every girl that lives within a 60 mile radius of their mother…

He surrounds me with surrogate mothers and grandmothers who pour out love and help and strength for me and my children.

And I hear lyrics I usually ignore…my daughter singing along to the song on the radio…”He is with us, He is with us, Always, Always”…comfort and truth from the mouth of babes.

And when I lay my head on my pillow at night and feel like my biggest accomplishment that day was the slam dunk I made with a dirty diaper from ten feet away…He reminds me that I fed and cultivated souls that day. And that He is with me. Always. In spoken prayers and written words. In simple reminders from my daughter to pray. In the sweet, innocent smile on my newborn’s face. Like Brother Lawrence searching for God’s presence in the most menial of moments, I find treasures of grace and love in dirty dishes, dirty laundry, dirty diapers, and dirty little faces.

From the moment I feed them their daily manna to the moment when I tuck them in bed…He is with me.

And I am touched daily by this beautiful prayer: “Commune with me through ordinary work and duty. Be my companion when I take the common journey. Let the humble life be transfigured by Thy presence.”

He is with me.

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Guest Post: Why we need graffiti

February 13, 2014 at 8:44 pm (Christian life, Parenting)
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Writing on the doorposts. I love the name of this blog. It’s a phrase that has fascinated me since sometime in my mid-teens when I realized that an apt paraphrase of it might be, “graffiti your homes with my word” or “put my tag all over your house”. We live in a society with so many words around us that we don’t always appreciate their power. Especially in the ancient world, words were seen as powerful. They were how you communicated with your gods or how your gods communicated with you. While archaeologists find plenty of random lists and receipts for used chariots and the like, many of the inscriptions that we have are religious in nature. People wrote blessings and curses and pleas to their gods all the time, because to write them was to give them permanence. So for Israel to write God’s words on their homes was to lay claim to God as their god. His words were written on their homes. His words were tied on their hands. His – and no other god’s.

Writing on the doorposts!

“Graffiti your homes with My Word”

The actual phrase “write them on your doorposts” occurs only in Deuteronomy. Deuteronomy is a series of lessons that Moses gave right before his death and Israel’s entrance into the Promised Land. In these lessons, he recaps Israel’s history, he gives them more laws, and he tells them why the Law is important – that the Law teaches them how to rightly love and obey God (Deut 30:16). The phrase “write them on your doorposts” occurs twice: in Deuteronomy 6:9 and 11:20. The first use is in a very positive context. Moses tells the people that remembering and obeying all the laws that God has given them will let them enjoy all the blessings that God will give them in the Promised Land. Keeping God’s word ever before them in their homes will help them to do that. Deuteronomy 11:20 comes from the other direction: if they don’t remember and disobey God’s commands, God will curse them. They will suffer for forgetting God’s word. Thus the instruction to write on the doorposts is also a preventative measure, so that they will have less opportunity to forget what God has said.

So what does this mean for parents? Well, I’m not a parent so it may be that most of you reading this will be able to answer this question better than I, but let me take a stab at it. Parenting is discipleship. The most important thing you can do as a parent is to raise up the next generation of God’s people. Jesus’ command to his disciples was to “make disciples…baptizing them…and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you” (Matt 28:19). Paul says to the Ephesians elders that he spoke to them “the whole will of God” (Acts 20:27). The totality of God’s revelation to us is important, and it is vital that we pass it along to our children. The work that parents do day in and day out – and by this I mean not only work, but loving and serving and playing and snuggling – has eternal consequences.

Therefore the best thing you can do for your child as a parent is to be firmly entrenched in God’s word. No parenting guide or book or class can prepare you for parenthood like God’s word. It will teach you the nature of God, and his indescribable father love for you. It will teach you godliness. It will transform you into the likeness of God’s Son. And as you are transformed more and more into the likeness of Jesus, you will be transformed more and more into the parent that God wants you to be.

Keep his words always before you.

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Guest Post: Laying Strong Foundations

June 6, 2013 at 11:40 am (Christian life, Guest Post, Parenting, Priorities, Teaching)
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“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.”
Matthew 7:24-25

Hi! In this family I am known variously as Sinead, Sineadanne, Tobe (pronounced ‘Toby’) and Aunty Tobe – I think that covers it! We have been so blessed by God to have one foster son (adult) and four precious princesses (ranging in age from 7 to 12). We love God, family, music, nature, being creative, food & laughing together!

I was thinking the other day about some basic concepts it is helpful for children to know. It was a useful process for me: taking a step back to survey our parenting focus from a ‘big picture’ viewing point. Below is what I came up with, vaguely grouped but in no particular order of importance.

I thought I would share these ideas in the hope that God may be able to use something to help someone somehow 🙂

RELATING TO GOD

Laying strong foundations is important in parenting.

Laying strong foundations is important in parenting.

– God loves them and desires that they love Him
– Our value comes from the unchangeable fact that God made us and loves us; we & God belong together
– Jesus is a friend like no other they will ever know – even us, their parents – and He demonstrated this on the cross
– When we do wrong things, we deserve to be punished by God. God keeps a record of every wrong thing every person does – but Jesus’ sacrifice means that a Christian does not have to take their punishment as Jesus has already taken it for the
– Following Jesus includes:

  • Putting God first
  • Putting other people before ourselves
  • Showing grace (a simple definition = undeserved favour)
  • Being humble
  • They can talk to God about anything

– Sometimes things are hard/bad things happen – this is actually good in the end as God uses these situations to train and strengthen us

RELATING TO US (PARENTS)

– They can talk to us about anything
– We love them and like them  (Note: these are connected but different things and they need to know BOTH)
– God has given them us, their parents, to look after them and teach them about His love & His ways – THAT is why it is wise & beneficial for them to listen to us
– Our love is unconditional and we will support & encourage them through the ups and downs of their lives
– Unlike God and just like them, we make mistakes (this gives us an opportunity to role model humility, repentance & the joy of God’s grace)

PURPOSE

– Our purpose on earth includes:

  • to love God with all our heart, mind, strength and soul
  • to love others as we love ourselves
  • to fear God
  • to serve God
  • to praise God
  • to honour God

– Our lives (time, words, actions) are created by and for God, not ourselves

Take joy in everything!

Take joy in everything!

JOY

– God will take care of problems and help us cope in hard times, which means there is nothing we can’t get through in life with Him = JOY!!
– Christians go to heaven = JOY!!
– All good gifts come from God and He gives us many every day = JOY!!
– God wants us to look out for these good gifts all the time and be thankful to Him and others for them = JOY!!
– CHOOSE joy – in the end it is always better to look on the bright side

RELATING TO OTHERS

– God will meter out justice (so they don’t have to!)
– Do good to others as much as you can, especially if they are unloving to you
– Imagining what others might be thinking/feeling is useful in knowing how to bless them
– Show grace & forgiveness as you have been shown grace & forgiveness
– Wisdom is seeing things as God sees them & it is something good to desire
– Think BEFORE you speak or act
– It is great to be an encourager/helper

  • Everybody needs one
  • It is good for everyone involved e.g. helper & ‘helpee’.

– People make mistakes – including us and them – it doesn’t make the people less lovable: God forgives them (and us) so we should forgive them (and ourselves) too

Wow – that ended up being a lot longer than I thought it would be! This may seem overwhelming to some of you but let me encourage you; when I start to feel overwhelmed by the magnitude of the responsibility of parenting, I have learnt to remind myself that there are THREE parents: God is working tirelessly to lay strong foundations in our children’s lives – we are just His helpers! Furthermore, we have surprisingly many opportunities in the day to gently teach & reinforce these foundational concepts.

I am sure there are others, too – probably some obvious & important ones – this was just a mind dump with a little revision. Can you add any ideas on foundational concepts children should know? I’d love to hear them 🙂

Brick image courtesy of Kai4107  www.freedigitalphotos.net.

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