Pressing on

April 23, 2012 at 2:05 pm (Christian life, Grace, Parenting)
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But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:7-14 (NIV)

Paul had his priorities right. He valued Christ above all else.  In chapter 1 he says, “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” (v21)  Here in chapter 3 he says that if anyone has a right to boast in the flesh, it is him – and yet he considers his worldly advantages to be as “garbage” compared to belonging to Jesus.  This is Paul’s goal: to attain to the resurrection from the dead, which Christ Jesus has offered him.

“There is nothing I want more than for my children to love God and give Him first place in their lives.”

I, too, have this goal.  But as a mom, it is not just for me, but for my children also. There is nothing I want more than for my children to love God and give Him first place in their lives. Yet daily I mess up. I fail to live up to the opportunities given to me; I make selfish choices; I prioritise worldly values; I model sinful attitudes. I am sure you fail too. And God knows this. He knows we are helpless – so he gave us a gift: infinite grace.

Because of grace, reaching our goal does not depend on us achieving perfection here on earth. We will not be saved on the merit of our motherhood, our ministry, or our self-imposed laws. We cannot save our children, either, no matter how many hours a day we spend teaching them of His love (don’t mistake me here – we should teach them this, it’s just that we cannot save them). We, and our children, can only gain the prize of salvation by accepting it. Christ Jesus came to offer us freedom and eternal salvation because of His perfect life. When we begin to understand this concept, we are blown away.

None of us have reached this goal yet, but there is hope. I want to encourage us all, to forget what is behind, and press on to what is ahead. Start each day – even each hour, each minute – anew.  Accept the grace of God, and look forward. Don’t dwell on the mistakes and failures of the past. Persevere in your faith; pray for your children. There is hope in the future.

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Why we homeschool

April 17, 2012 at 4:12 pm (Home education, Parenting, Priorities)
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Our family has made the choice to home education our children, rather than put them in the school system. Below is an outline of the ‘why’ behind our decision. This is certainly not an exhaustive list of our reasons for choosing to homeschool our kids. It is also not intended in any way to make others feel guilty for sending their kids to school. It’s simply an overview of some of the most important and outstanding reasons we believe that – for us – homeschooling is the option we must (and desire to) choose.

Spiritual Training.  Just as a solider training for war should go where he can be BEST trained, so we – training our kids for the spiritual war they will engage in as they grow – want to train them in the BEST possible place. In our opinion, this is not a school setting.  Why?  Because:

  1. We want to create an atmosphere where prayer, Bible study and unconditional love are a central part of their learning process, as we believe this creates a solid foundation for a life of love. (Deut 6:6-8)
  2. We want to be able to frequently and consistently show them how the Biblical principals of love, kindness and responsibility should influence thoughts and behaviour, and train them to make this a personal habit for life.  (Proverbs 22:6)
  3. We want them to be totally immersed in an atmosphere of love, acceptance, affirmation of who they are, and be the ones to provide consistent and loving discipline. At school we perceive that they will be too exposed to anger, bullying, discouragement and lack of discipline which can negatively impact character development.
  4. We want them to regularly observe adults and children who model love, integrity and diligence – characteristics we feel they should be aspiring too. Kids imitate what (and who) they see the most.
  5. We want them to be comparatively free from the long and daily peer pressure to conform to worldy standards. We want to control such exposure so they learn to love those they disagree with, rather than imitate them.

Academic excellence.  With ratio at almost always close to 1:1, we believe that education at home is far more likely to be of good quality than education at school. Even without formal teacher training we believe this is achievable. How?  Because:

  1. We can work hard at developing and maintaining a love for learning in our children. This (which is so easily and quickly lost in school settings) will help them to be life-long learners, and people who are diligent to search out whatever they need to know in the future.
  2. We are able to be very in tune with what subjects and topics each child enjoys, finds easy, or struggles with in some way. We can tailor their education to these strengths and weaknesses, moving ahead quickly when they excel, and taking the time needed when they would otherwise have struggled.
  3. We can focus on true understanding rather than test scores. Learning can be put into context and become meaningful, rather than abstract.  Long term learning is the goal.
  4. With the responsibility on our shoulders of educating our children, we tend to learn alongside them. This means that we are able to weave threads of learning easily through-out life as whole.  Learning becomes a natural part of life, not a 9am-3pm chore.  It also becomes a shared process of enjoyment and mutual encouragement.

Personal development.  There is no need to fear a lack of socialisation in homeschooled children – in fact the opposite may be true. Homeschooled kids are constantly around a variety of ages, and learn how to interact in everyday life, rather than the artificial situation which a class, year or grade makes up at school. With homeschool co-ops, clubs, music, art, swimming, church, camps, etc, there are no shortages of opportunities to socialise. But apart from this, there are other personal developmental benefits to homeschoolng:

  1. Self-discipline.  Opportunities to learn by one’s own initiative come up frequently in home education, and this promotes self-discipline, a huge benefit for life in the adult world.
  2. Problem solving.  While this can certainly be learnt at school, it may not be taught as specifically as we would like. We want to be around to teach loving and peaceful ways to solve both interpersonal and situational problems.
  3. Acceptance of others. Unlike the cliques which develop so easily in school settings, we can encourage children to play with, help and engage with people of all ages and abilities.
  4. Personal conviction.  Children should be free to question and challenge ideas and beliefs in an atmosphere of open-mindedness and honesty. We will not teach them just one view as right, to be taken as fact without question, but rather encourage them to examine and search out the evidence for themselves.  We will explain what we believe and why, and actively help our children to make their own decisions based on accurate interpretation of the available evidence.

Ultimately, we feel that God has given us (not teachers, day-care providers, babysitters or anyone else) the responsibility to bring our children up “in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Eph 6:4), and feel that we will best carry out that responsibility by educating our kids at home.  We believe that education at home can be first-class, and that the personal skills instilled will best prepare them to go into the world as loving, useful members of society.

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The beauty of homemaking

April 16, 2012 at 6:48 pm (Christian life, Homemaking, Ministry, Parenting, Priorities)
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I always knew that becoming a mother was a career choice for me. To my mind, it can’t be anything else. Raising children is not something to be done on the side, in our spare time, but something which calls for the highest standards of commitment, sacrifice, dedication and effort. I’d like to share some of the common reasons I hear against mothers choosing to stay home with their children, and my responses to these reasons.

1) Some people seem to think that women who choose to stay at home full time are unambitious. Firstly, ambition is not what life is about. Secondly, I think being a stay-at-home Mom is probably the most ambitious career out there! A housewife and mother has to master so many different facets of life. She is a cook, a cleaner, an arbitrator, a psychologist, a day-care provider, a mentor, a friend, a nurse, a teacher, a personal shopper, a playmate, and a care assistant. On top of these she may well specialise in a few other areas, such as baking, craft making, research, nutrition, health, sports, music, or just about any other subject or vocation you can think of. Being a full time homemaker is anything but boring!

There are joys in motherhood that can never be found in another career.

2) The other objection I frequently hear against being a stay-at-home Mom is that of financial strain. I admit that sometimes this is an issue. However, I think it is much less of an issue than most people perceive it to be. If you are thinking, “We can’t manage without two incomes.” I would encourage you to think again. Our lives are usually full of unnecessary stuff, which could be cut out to reduce our monthly expenditure. And if you really do need more money, then there are ways to work around this and still stay at home. Right now, for example, I am bringing in some extra money for my family by joining Usborne and selling children’s books. This allows me flexibility to work around my kids, rather than mothering around my work. It’s important to really evaluate our priorities, and make sure we are backing what we believe by the way we live. It’s no good wishing we had the resources to stay at home, but in reality placing a higher value on home decoration.

3) The last reason I commonly hear for women not staying at home is, “It’s just not for me.” This may be true. But what about your kids? To simply say “it’s not for me” seems a rather selfish reason. If you have carefully weighed all the pros and cons, if you have decided that you need to prioritize something else, or if you have prayed and prayed and prayed and still believe it is ‘not for you’, then I respect that. God has certainly called each of us to our own ministries, and we must act accordingly. But if you simply have a fear that you won’t like being a homemaker, then I truly hope you will stop and think again. There are such joys, such excitements, such challenges, blessings, and wonderful experiences to be had when you make your kids your career.

In closing, take time to read one of my favourite passages of Scripture, encouraging young mothers to keep her priorities right in the sight of God.

“Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.”  Titus 2:3-5 (NASB)

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Seasoned with salt – lessons from my Mom’s roast dinners

April 10, 2012 at 11:49 am (Attitudes, Christian life, Parenting, Scripture)
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“Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”
Colossians 4:5-7 (NIV)

I love the imagery used in the passage. Full of grace; Seasoned with salt. It makes me think of my Mom’s home-cooked Sunday roasts. We would come home after church (usually with an eager guest or two) and the scent of potatoes, veggies, meat, Yorkshire puddings and gravy would fill the air as she finished off the final touches of the meal. It was a delicious, comforting, wholesome smell, and the food was always just as good as the anticipation. I think my Mom really IS the best cook in the whole world. But I’m getting side-tracked…

In these three verses of Colossians, the author Paul is referring specifically to the way we talk with people who are not part of the body of Christ. But I would like to take his idea and apply it to the way we talk to our kids. In a way, it’s not too different, because both are in need of experiencing the grace and love of Jesus through the way we talk to them.

Opportunities abound in the life of a parent.

Paul urges Christians here to “make the most of every opportunity”. As parents, we have LOTS of opportunities to witness to our children. We are around our kids a large part of every day, and talk to them often about a myriad of different topics. Because it happens so often, it is easy to forget that these conversations are chances for us to show the wonderful love and grace of Jesus. Unfortunately, it is especially easy to forget this in times of discipline, where it can be most important and have the greatest impact.

We need to be aware (and yes, intentional!) of the way we talk to our kids, and not let these opportunities slip by every day. We also need to be careful that we are not seasoning our conversations with judgement and bitterness instead of grace and salt, as so often happens.

But what is a conversation full of grace and seasoned with salt like? Well, I think it’s a bit like my Mom’s roast dinners…

  • It is wholesome.  It is not rude, inappropriate or unkind. Rather, it is respectful (it is possible to be respectful whilst still being in charge), carefully worded and loving. For example, instead of saying, “I told you to pick that up – do it now!”, we can say “Do you remember that I already asked you to pick that up? You need to remember to listen and obey straight away. Please do it now.”
  • It smells good.  Even though our words don’t have actual smells, they do have a scent in their own kind of way.  Conversations which are full of grace and seasoned with salt will have an overall good smell to them. Our kids will be able to tell that what we are saying is right and true and good, whether we are praising them or disciplining them.
  • It provides nourishment.  Although for the most part I loved my Mom’s roasts, there were occasionally vegetables I wasn’t so keen on. Even these, though, I would usually eat as I knew they were healthy and good for my body. In the same way there might be times we have to say things to our kids that they won’t want to hear.  We need to make sure that at these times we are full of grace and salt, and that we are speaking only to benefit out children, not to vent our anger.
  • It is comforting.  On the other hand, there are also times when our words can be a great source of comfort to our children. Here we can take the opportunity to show our kids the love and peace and joy that can be found in Jesus, no matter what circumstances we are living through.

Mom and me.

I want to end with a thanks to my Mom.

Thanks for your wonderful Sunday roasts, and for the lessons of love you have taught me all my life.  I love you.

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Remember the Easter story

April 9, 2012 at 10:15 am (Christian life, Creating memories, Faith, Parenting, Teaching)
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What is the first thing you think of when you hear the word ‘Easter’? Hopefully you said something like ‘Jesus’ or ‘sacrifice’ or other words related to the reason behind the season. Hopefully you didn’t say ‘chocolate’. But the truth is, most of us have a very strong association between Easter and chocolate. Whilst I’m not against buying Easter goodies (I confess to being rather a chocoholic…), I do think it’s very sad that eggs, chicks and bunnies have taken precedence over Jesus at this time of year.

Taking the first question a step deeper, ask yourself (or even better, your kids) – What is the first thing your children think of when they hear the word ‘Easter’? If they are only little, you may be inclined to be more understanding if they answered ‘chocolate’, but I think this is just more sad. They have had less time exposed to the commercialism of the world, and are more influenced by us. What are we teaching our kids? Are we actively and intentionally teaching them about Jesus’ gift to the world, or are we letting them grow up to think of Easter simply as a time to buy chocolate?

The commercialised world we live in puts an unthinkable amount of money and resources into strengthening our association between Easter and buying chocolate – and baskets, and stickers, and cards, and fluffy chicks, and stuffed bunnies and anything else it can think of. But nice as these things can be, they have nothing on the awesome events that we are actually celebrating this Easter. How can chocolate compare to salvation?! As parents, we should be passionate about teaching our children the real, eternal significance of the events that took place on the first Easter.

But how can we do this? Teaching our kids to think of Jesus before chocolate isn’t always easy! I think the answer is twofold:

  • Firstly, we need to emphasis the Easter story to our kids. Tell it to them over and over. Write it down, make crafts about it, draw pictures of it, sing songs about it, watch movies on it, play games about it. Get it into their heads and hearts every way we can think of.
  • Second, we can make use of commercialised products, and teach our children to associate them back to Jesus. We must help our kids to see Easter eggs, chicks and bunnies, and immediately think of ‘new life’ and what that means to us as followers of Christ.

At our house this year we had an ‘Easter Story Treasure Hunt’. I wrote down a simple version of the Easter story, and along side each section I put a clue, helping them to find the next part of the story. At the end of the story was a prize.  Below are the story and clues I put together, which you are free to copy and edit for your own use, and some pictures of my kiddies enjoying the hunt!

About two thousand years ago something amazing happened. God came to earth in the form of a baby boy – Jesus. As Jesus grew up, He became wise. God was pleased with Him.

The next clue is somewhere that Princess goes every morning when she gets dressed.

———————————————————————————

When Jesus was a man He taught people about God’s love, and His plan to save them. After a few years, Jesus knew it was nearly time for Him to die.  He went to a garden one night to pray.

The next clue is in hiding with some sweet food.

———————————————————————————

Jesus was very sad, but He told God that He would do whatever God knew was best.  Soldiers came and took Jesus away.  Lots of people told lies, saying Jesus had done bad things.  They decided to kill Jesus.

The next clue is with your Word friends.

———————————————————————————

After Jesus had been beaten, He was nailed to a cross where He died.  But this is not the end of the story!  After three days Jesus came back to life again!

The next clue is somewhere cold.

———————————————————————————

Today Jesus is still alive.  He left us the Holy Spirit and the Bible so that we can learn about Him, and about how we can have a new life after we die, too.

You will find your prize somewhere warm and snugly.

———————————————————————————

Fun on our Easter story hunt 2012.

May we all remember to delight in the joy of the Easter story, and pass it on faithfully to our children.

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Selfless mothering

April 2, 2012 at 3:02 pm (Christian life, Parenting, Scripture)
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“Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”
Philippians 2:4

One of the men at church yesterday spoke about this verse in Philippians, and it got me thinking about parenting. Of course, Jesus gave us the ultimate example of looking out for the needs of others when He selflessly sacrificed Himself on the cross for our sake. But I want to look at this verse in relation to being a mother.

Prince, 18 days old.

Becoming a mother is one of the best ways to expose your inner selfishness. Even the most selfless of women will be put to the test as they enter the world of motherhood. As a new mother we find ourselves constantly having to attend to the beck and call of a tiny new person. Whether we are sleeping, eating, reading, cleaning, cooking or even using the bathroom – we are on duty and must be ready to drop our own agenda to fulfill the ‘interests’ of our babe.

As our children get older, they become more able to tend to themselves. At first this comes as a much needed break (at last! We can shower more than once a fortnight!), but I have also discovered that it can be a dangerous time. Dangerous, because it’s so easy to slip back into our old selfish ways and miss this wonderful opportunity to curb selfishness long-term.

Too many parents treat their children as an inconvenience. They complain about the strain kids put on their finances, their time, their relationships and their fun. Even those who don’t openly complain might show selfishness more subtly. Whilst there are some things that us adults need (including time alone), I find that more often than not the needs of children are ranked as secondary to those of parents. This, I believe, is wrong.

As parents, we sometimes spend too much money on our house, cars or clothes, then don’t have enough to feed our children healthy food.

As parents, we might indulge in things that we enjoy, but rarely make time to take our kids to play in the park.

As parents, we can be tempted to spend hours watching T.V, but hardly ever make time to play games with our kids.

As parents, we might prefer to leave our children with other people while we go to work or out with friends, rather than sacrifice time, money or entertainment and shoulder the responsibility of raising and training them ourselves.

Whilst none of the things a parent might do for themselves are (necessarily) wrong, they become so when done regularly at the expense of the needs of our children. Parents, we have a duty to consider the individual needs of each of our children and meet those the best we can. We must be willing to sacrifice our often-selfish desires and serve the interests of our kids. If we read on from Philippians 2:4, we see this example set for us:

Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. (2:5-8)

As a mother, I need to humble myself. In my parenting, I am to have the same attitude that Jesus had when He denied His right to equality with God, and died on the cross to save mankind.  As a mother, my first and foremost motive must be the care and nurturing of my children.

Let’s leave a legacy of selfless love.

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The ministry of a mother: part 2, her children

March 26, 2012 at 2:31 pm (Christian life, Ministry, Parenting)
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Mothers, I believe, have more influence on the people our children turn out to be than almost anyone else. I have heard and read of so many people who attribute their mothers as being a major factor in shaping who they are today. Here are some quotes to illustrate the point:

I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.
Abraham Lincoln

Men are what their mothers made them.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.
George Washington

Only God Himself fully appreciates the influence of a Christian mother in the molding of character in her children.
Billy Graham

Being a mother who ministers to her children means taking hold of every opportunity to serve them and teach them life lessons that will have eternal value. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the responsibility I have in guiding, teaching and molding my children. But sometimes, I am not overwhelmed; sometimes I forget that everything I do and say is shaping their characters, for better or for worse. In an earlier post I mentioned intentional parenting. This is not a phrase I have read about, but something I use for myself, to describe thinking carefully and purposefully about how to raise my kids. It means analysing the way I talk, teach, discipline, and every other daily thing as I do. It also means thinking about who I want my kids to be, and how to help them become those people.

Knowing the enormous input I have in the lives of my kids and you have in yours, here are some ideas for making our ministry effective:

Daily Bible time

We adopted the term ‘Bible Snuggle Time’ from my aunt’s family. For us, this is a special time where we spread out a blanket and get our Bibles, some paper and colouring pencils together. My husband or I read the kids a story each from their children’s Bible, then they get to quietly draw a picture from what they have learnt while we have a chance read our own Bibles. Sometimes we include other things too, such as prayer, songs and Bible memory verses.

Verse of the day

We have a small whiteboard set up by our dining table. Every day one person from the family gets to choose a Bible verse and write it on the board for us to read and enjoy for the day. Everyone gets a turn, and we find this a wonderful activity for incorporating spiritual growth with home education (reading, grammar, handwriting, spelling, etc!)

Pray, pray, pray

I have a friend who once held his baby niece in his arms and deeply moved said to me, “I imagine as a parent you must be constantly praying for your children.” How convicted I was! There are too many days that go by when I don’t take the spiritual battle seriously enough and fight for my kids in prayer. There are days when I am distracted by everyday happenings, and all I make time to do is a hurried goodnight prayer as I tuck them in and rush off to do the next thing. But in truth, there is nothing greater we can do for our kids than labour in prayer for them daily.

Let your kids see your relationship with God

I once asked two of my friends about what effect it had on them to see their mothers’ regular, personal devotional time. Both told me that it made a very significant impact on their spiritual lives, to the point that it still affects them today. They are also two of the most Godly people I know, who put their passion and talents to use for Christ by working in youth ministry. It is also important to let your kids see your love for God by worshipping and praying sincerely when they are around.

Family nights

Ready for our first family night!

Something I always wanted to do was start up a regular family night, and recently we have finally managed to do it! This is another opportunity for my husband and I to give specific spiritual guidance to our kids. We read from a devotional book, do fun activities, have special snacks (which the kids LOVE to help prepare earlier in the day) and have a time of worship. If you are looking for a good book to give you some ideas and inspiration to start up your own family night, I recommend this book. We went through this book before starting ours, and I feel it has made our night much more effective.

Make use of good quality resources

There are so many great tools out there for use in a Christian home. Here are a few we use regularly that I love:

  • Scripture songs on CD by Steve Green – These songs are straight Scripture put to music, and have helped us learn many verses that both the kids and I can refer back to in everyday conversations.
  • The One Year Children’s Bible – Last year we read through the whole Bible with our kids using this book. It carefully and accurately presents a condensed version of the Bible in easy to understand language.
  • God’s Wisdom for Little Boys and Girls – These are lovely books for use in devotional times. My kids love them, and will sit and read them to themselves, too.
  • His Mighty Warrior and His Little Princess – Again, nice books to include in a devotional time. I love them, but find them to be aimed at a slightly higher age range than my kids – probably more like 6-8. We still use them, though.
  • Veggie Tales and Penguins books and DVDs – Fun cartoons which teach Biblical morals, stories and Proverbs. I find my Prince especially likes the Penguins DVDs, as they are quite adventure orientated.
  • Creation Ministries and Answers in Genesis– You can find a lot of resources here for both kids and adults. There are DVDs and books on all kinds of topics such as dinosaurs and planets which my Prince finds very interesting.

 

Set goals

Part of being intentional means thinking forward to the end goal of your parenting. One way I do this is to write down a list of goals for each child in three main categories.  Here is an example of some goals I wrote down for my Prince:

  • Spiritual goals
  1. Love God wholeheartedly
  2. Love others unconditionally
  3. Love Scripture & and have consistent Bible study life
  4. Have a deep personal prayer life
  5. Have a ‘ministry mindset’, being a light for the Gospel in whatever he does
  •  Character goals
  1. Love others sincerely
  2. Be able to be a strong leader of family & church, and understand that good leadership is loving and servant-hearted
  3. Be humble
  4. Be generous with money, possessions and time
  5. Be self-controlled and self-disciplined
  6. Able to teach
  7. Hospitable
  8. A peacemaker
  9. Pure
  •  Education goals
  1. Be diligent in doing what he needs to, and completing all work to the best of his ability
  2. Have a good level of education, enabling him to have job security and provide for a family and for those in need
  3. Love learning, not feeling afraid of any topic but rather have a ‘can do’ attitude

What a blessing to be mother to these precious kids!

Once I have these written down I review them from time to time and also write specific ways to train him in those areas, according to his current strengths, weaknesses and abilities.

Being a mother is one of the most wonderful ministries I am blessed to be a part of. As you and I seek to bring our children up in the training of the Lord, may He bless our efforts and grow our children into His image.

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10 things I’ve learned as a mother

March 21, 2012 at 3:12 pm (Parenting, Ten things)
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In no particular order, here are ten of the many, many things I’ve learned in the nearly six (!) years I have been a mother:

Fun on a ‘train’ in the local park!

  1. You love your kids in a way that cannot be described or imagined until you experience it.
  2. It’s easy to let each day slip by without thinking, but a better way is to pray and parent ‘intentionally’ – thinking about who are you shaping your kids to be, and how your guidance now will affect both them and others in the long term.
  3. One-on-one time set aside to talk to and focus your attention on each child individually is so important, and can provide some really insightful feedback from your child’s perspective on how you can improve as a parent.
  4. It is essential to MAKE regular alone time for you and God. Even if it’s just reading a few quick Scriptures on Bible Gateway or following a short daily plan on YouVersion, regular spiritual food is necessary for you, and makes you a better parent too.
  5. Boys and girls are naturally very different!
  6. While it may take three times as long, it’s also usually three times as special to do everyday tasks WITH your kids rather than on your own – and they really love to help!
  7. Talk to your kids with respect and love, and never belittle them (e.g. don’t laugh it off when they are embarrassed in company).
  8. Don’t assume kids understand simple things. What is simple to an adult is not as obvious to a child, so take time to show grace and explain things to them.
  9. Be a playmate as well as a parent. When it’s possible, drop what you are doing if they ask you to play, instead of saying “in a minute”, “not now” or “later”.
  10. Let your kids see your relationship with God. Let them hear you praying, let them see you reading Scripture, them watch you worship – so long as you are not doing it for show, but as a genuine expression of your faith.

What have you learnt as a parent?

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