Dear God

July 19, 2012 at 10:16 am (Christian life, Parenting, Prayer, Priorities, Teaching)
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As each day of my motherhood journey passes, I am more and more convicted of the need for prayer, in two key ways.

1)  Fervent, deep prayer.  Daily – or at least, regularly – we need to set aside time to go into our room, close the door, and pray to our Father who is unseen. There is no way that any of us are capable enough to raise, teach and fulfill children on our own. We may have gifts, talents, commitment and love, but we are still not enough. I don’t say this to tear us down; I don’t want to submit to false humility or self-deprecation. I just want us to be honest – and the honest truth is no matter how good we are, we are not perfect. We will fail as a parent – and often! The truth is, we need to appeal to a power greater than ourselves to raise our children up in faith. We need to beg God to fill them up with His Spirit, to strengthen their souls, to draw them to Himself, to lead them in His paths, to teach them His truths and to instill in them a life-long love and passion for Him, and an unconditional love for all others.

Not only is this deep prayer an intercession to God on behalf of our children, but it is also rejuvenating and nourishing for our own souls. Spending time with God is like drinking a fantastically healthy fruit and veg smoothie – only better! It builds us up and strengthens us to resist Satan’s attempts to bring us down. Spending time in deep prayer is the best motivation I have found for helping me put into practice the ideals and ideas I have for my children.

The prayer jar, and a faithfully answered prayer 🙂

2)  Sprinkling prayers throughout the day.  It is important to include prayer throughout the day for both our own and our children’s sake. In our house, we try to pray in lots of different ways: together at our Bible snuggle time, stop what we are doing to pray if we hear of a specific need, pray at meal time, and pray at bedtime. Paul, in the book of 1 Thessalonians, says we should pray ‘continually’. I think what he means is that we should have a prayerful mindset. Prayer should be a first reaction to both good and bad situations. Thanking God and asking for His help should be second nature as we go about our daily activities.

There are also many creative ways of adding prayer into your daily life. I particularly like this idea as a way to help our children remember to pray for others. Another idea that we use is the ‘prayer jar’. Anyone can write a prayer or ‘letter’ to God, and put it into the jar. It is fun to look at them again later and see how faithfully God has answered the prayers we have prayed.

What ideas to you have to keep prayer a central part of your and your children’s lives?

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To my Prince

May 7, 2012 at 11:24 am (Parenting)
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Last week was one of the busiest weeks I’ve had in a long time (hence the lack of blog posts). There were many things going on, but just one I want to share with you – my Prince turned six!

Baby Prince

Every year on his birthday I think back to my early days of motherhood, when Prince first came into the world. I remember how tiny and perfect he looked in my arms when I first held him. He had big dark eyes that looked quietly up at mine, and his skin was unbelievably soft. He had this cute little swirl on each ear lobe, and if you look closely you can see they are still there today 🙂

When we found out we were having a baby boy, we decided to give him a middle name that honoured God.  We chose “Samuel”, because he was a gift to us from the Lord. And what a gift he has been! Today I dedicate this post to him, and all he is to me.

To my Prince:

You are one of the greatest joys in my life, my boy.

I love the way you delight in snuggling me, and even though you are so big (nearly my size!) you still climb onto my lap and wrap your arms around my neck so tight.

I love the way you are a kind and caring brother to your little sister. You look after her when she is worried, you affectionately enjoy her cute little ways, you share and play with her nicely, and you teach her things that you know.

I love the way you are passionate about things. About drawing, about ocean creatures, about Octonauts, about Bible Snuggle time.  You take great care over things.  You notice little details that other people miss.  You look at the world in a way which opens up my eyes to a new and wonderful point of view.

Love.

I love the way we laugh together over silly and funny things. I love the way we enjoy stories together, the way we talk about new things, the way we sign ‘I love you’, the way we sing together at bed time.

I love the way you obey even when it is hard. I love the way you pray. I love the way you practise being a gentleman, and hold the door open for Princess and me. I love the way you seek to be strong like Daddy, and to take the leadership as a man when he is not there.

As you turn six I want you to know that you are so very, very precious to me – and yet you are even more precious to God. I pray that you will daily give Him your heart and allow Him to lead your life. I pray you will have strength to stand firm in faith even if others fall down. I pray that you will be filled with the Spirit and speak with wisdom and understanding. I pray you will give your life as a daily sacrifice to God, which is your reasonable act of worship. I pray that you will find a wife to help and encourage you as you live out your faith, and that your marriage will be a strong example of the love of God. I pray you will be a leader in the church, able to teach and willing to serve. I pray you will become a father who knows how to train his children up in the ways of the Lord. I pray that you will love others with passion, and always search out ways to do good.  And I pray you will always know that I love you.

With all my heart,
Your Mommy

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Pressing on

April 23, 2012 at 2:05 pm (Christian life, Grace, Parenting)
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But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:7-14 (NIV)

Paul had his priorities right. He valued Christ above all else.  In chapter 1 he says, “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” (v21)  Here in chapter 3 he says that if anyone has a right to boast in the flesh, it is him – and yet he considers his worldly advantages to be as “garbage” compared to belonging to Jesus.  This is Paul’s goal: to attain to the resurrection from the dead, which Christ Jesus has offered him.

“There is nothing I want more than for my children to love God and give Him first place in their lives.”

I, too, have this goal.  But as a mom, it is not just for me, but for my children also. There is nothing I want more than for my children to love God and give Him first place in their lives. Yet daily I mess up. I fail to live up to the opportunities given to me; I make selfish choices; I prioritise worldly values; I model sinful attitudes. I am sure you fail too. And God knows this. He knows we are helpless – so he gave us a gift: infinite grace.

Because of grace, reaching our goal does not depend on us achieving perfection here on earth. We will not be saved on the merit of our motherhood, our ministry, or our self-imposed laws. We cannot save our children, either, no matter how many hours a day we spend teaching them of His love (don’t mistake me here – we should teach them this, it’s just that we cannot save them). We, and our children, can only gain the prize of salvation by accepting it. Christ Jesus came to offer us freedom and eternal salvation because of His perfect life. When we begin to understand this concept, we are blown away.

None of us have reached this goal yet, but there is hope. I want to encourage us all, to forget what is behind, and press on to what is ahead. Start each day – even each hour, each minute – anew.  Accept the grace of God, and look forward. Don’t dwell on the mistakes and failures of the past. Persevere in your faith; pray for your children. There is hope in the future.

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The beauty of homemaking

April 16, 2012 at 6:48 pm (Christian life, Homemaking, Ministry, Parenting, Priorities)
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I always knew that becoming a mother was a career choice for me. To my mind, it can’t be anything else. Raising children is not something to be done on the side, in our spare time, but something which calls for the highest standards of commitment, sacrifice, dedication and effort. I’d like to share some of the common reasons I hear against mothers choosing to stay home with their children, and my responses to these reasons.

1) Some people seem to think that women who choose to stay at home full time are unambitious. Firstly, ambition is not what life is about. Secondly, I think being a stay-at-home Mom is probably the most ambitious career out there! A housewife and mother has to master so many different facets of life. She is a cook, a cleaner, an arbitrator, a psychologist, a day-care provider, a mentor, a friend, a nurse, a teacher, a personal shopper, a playmate, and a care assistant. On top of these she may well specialise in a few other areas, such as baking, craft making, research, nutrition, health, sports, music, or just about any other subject or vocation you can think of. Being a full time homemaker is anything but boring!

There are joys in motherhood that can never be found in another career.

2) The other objection I frequently hear against being a stay-at-home Mom is that of financial strain. I admit that sometimes this is an issue. However, I think it is much less of an issue than most people perceive it to be. If you are thinking, “We can’t manage without two incomes.” I would encourage you to think again. Our lives are usually full of unnecessary stuff, which could be cut out to reduce our monthly expenditure. And if you really do need more money, then there are ways to work around this and still stay at home. Right now, for example, I am bringing in some extra money for my family by joining Usborne and selling children’s books. This allows me flexibility to work around my kids, rather than mothering around my work. It’s important to really evaluate our priorities, and make sure we are backing what we believe by the way we live. It’s no good wishing we had the resources to stay at home, but in reality placing a higher value on home decoration.

3) The last reason I commonly hear for women not staying at home is, “It’s just not for me.” This may be true. But what about your kids? To simply say “it’s not for me” seems a rather selfish reason. If you have carefully weighed all the pros and cons, if you have decided that you need to prioritize something else, or if you have prayed and prayed and prayed and still believe it is ‘not for you’, then I respect that. God has certainly called each of us to our own ministries, and we must act accordingly. But if you simply have a fear that you won’t like being a homemaker, then I truly hope you will stop and think again. There are such joys, such excitements, such challenges, blessings, and wonderful experiences to be had when you make your kids your career.

In closing, take time to read one of my favourite passages of Scripture, encouraging young mothers to keep her priorities right in the sight of God.

“Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.”  Titus 2:3-5 (NASB)

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Selfless mothering

April 2, 2012 at 3:02 pm (Christian life, Parenting, Scripture)
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“Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”
Philippians 2:4

One of the men at church yesterday spoke about this verse in Philippians, and it got me thinking about parenting. Of course, Jesus gave us the ultimate example of looking out for the needs of others when He selflessly sacrificed Himself on the cross for our sake. But I want to look at this verse in relation to being a mother.

Prince, 18 days old.

Becoming a mother is one of the best ways to expose your inner selfishness. Even the most selfless of women will be put to the test as they enter the world of motherhood. As a new mother we find ourselves constantly having to attend to the beck and call of a tiny new person. Whether we are sleeping, eating, reading, cleaning, cooking or even using the bathroom – we are on duty and must be ready to drop our own agenda to fulfill the ‘interests’ of our babe.

As our children get older, they become more able to tend to themselves. At first this comes as a much needed break (at last! We can shower more than once a fortnight!), but I have also discovered that it can be a dangerous time. Dangerous, because it’s so easy to slip back into our old selfish ways and miss this wonderful opportunity to curb selfishness long-term.

Too many parents treat their children as an inconvenience. They complain about the strain kids put on their finances, their time, their relationships and their fun. Even those who don’t openly complain might show selfishness more subtly. Whilst there are some things that us adults need (including time alone), I find that more often than not the needs of children are ranked as secondary to those of parents. This, I believe, is wrong.

As parents, we sometimes spend too much money on our house, cars or clothes, then don’t have enough to feed our children healthy food.

As parents, we might indulge in things that we enjoy, but rarely make time to take our kids to play in the park.

As parents, we can be tempted to spend hours watching T.V, but hardly ever make time to play games with our kids.

As parents, we might prefer to leave our children with other people while we go to work or out with friends, rather than sacrifice time, money or entertainment and shoulder the responsibility of raising and training them ourselves.

Whilst none of the things a parent might do for themselves are (necessarily) wrong, they become so when done regularly at the expense of the needs of our children. Parents, we have a duty to consider the individual needs of each of our children and meet those the best we can. We must be willing to sacrifice our often-selfish desires and serve the interests of our kids. If we read on from Philippians 2:4, we see this example set for us:

Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. (2:5-8)

As a mother, I need to humble myself. In my parenting, I am to have the same attitude that Jesus had when He denied His right to equality with God, and died on the cross to save mankind.  As a mother, my first and foremost motive must be the care and nurturing of my children.

Let’s leave a legacy of selfless love.

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The ministry of a mother: part 2, her children

March 26, 2012 at 2:31 pm (Christian life, Ministry, Parenting)
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Mothers, I believe, have more influence on the people our children turn out to be than almost anyone else. I have heard and read of so many people who attribute their mothers as being a major factor in shaping who they are today. Here are some quotes to illustrate the point:

I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.
Abraham Lincoln

Men are what their mothers made them.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.
George Washington

Only God Himself fully appreciates the influence of a Christian mother in the molding of character in her children.
Billy Graham

Being a mother who ministers to her children means taking hold of every opportunity to serve them and teach them life lessons that will have eternal value. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the responsibility I have in guiding, teaching and molding my children. But sometimes, I am not overwhelmed; sometimes I forget that everything I do and say is shaping their characters, for better or for worse. In an earlier post I mentioned intentional parenting. This is not a phrase I have read about, but something I use for myself, to describe thinking carefully and purposefully about how to raise my kids. It means analysing the way I talk, teach, discipline, and every other daily thing as I do. It also means thinking about who I want my kids to be, and how to help them become those people.

Knowing the enormous input I have in the lives of my kids and you have in yours, here are some ideas for making our ministry effective:

Daily Bible time

We adopted the term ‘Bible Snuggle Time’ from my aunt’s family. For us, this is a special time where we spread out a blanket and get our Bibles, some paper and colouring pencils together. My husband or I read the kids a story each from their children’s Bible, then they get to quietly draw a picture from what they have learnt while we have a chance read our own Bibles. Sometimes we include other things too, such as prayer, songs and Bible memory verses.

Verse of the day

We have a small whiteboard set up by our dining table. Every day one person from the family gets to choose a Bible verse and write it on the board for us to read and enjoy for the day. Everyone gets a turn, and we find this a wonderful activity for incorporating spiritual growth with home education (reading, grammar, handwriting, spelling, etc!)

Pray, pray, pray

I have a friend who once held his baby niece in his arms and deeply moved said to me, “I imagine as a parent you must be constantly praying for your children.” How convicted I was! There are too many days that go by when I don’t take the spiritual battle seriously enough and fight for my kids in prayer. There are days when I am distracted by everyday happenings, and all I make time to do is a hurried goodnight prayer as I tuck them in and rush off to do the next thing. But in truth, there is nothing greater we can do for our kids than labour in prayer for them daily.

Let your kids see your relationship with God

I once asked two of my friends about what effect it had on them to see their mothers’ regular, personal devotional time. Both told me that it made a very significant impact on their spiritual lives, to the point that it still affects them today. They are also two of the most Godly people I know, who put their passion and talents to use for Christ by working in youth ministry. It is also important to let your kids see your love for God by worshipping and praying sincerely when they are around.

Family nights

Ready for our first family night!

Something I always wanted to do was start up a regular family night, and recently we have finally managed to do it! This is another opportunity for my husband and I to give specific spiritual guidance to our kids. We read from a devotional book, do fun activities, have special snacks (which the kids LOVE to help prepare earlier in the day) and have a time of worship. If you are looking for a good book to give you some ideas and inspiration to start up your own family night, I recommend this book. We went through this book before starting ours, and I feel it has made our night much more effective.

Make use of good quality resources

There are so many great tools out there for use in a Christian home. Here are a few we use regularly that I love:

  • Scripture songs on CD by Steve Green – These songs are straight Scripture put to music, and have helped us learn many verses that both the kids and I can refer back to in everyday conversations.
  • The One Year Children’s Bible – Last year we read through the whole Bible with our kids using this book. It carefully and accurately presents a condensed version of the Bible in easy to understand language.
  • God’s Wisdom for Little Boys and Girls – These are lovely books for use in devotional times. My kids love them, and will sit and read them to themselves, too.
  • His Mighty Warrior and His Little Princess – Again, nice books to include in a devotional time. I love them, but find them to be aimed at a slightly higher age range than my kids – probably more like 6-8. We still use them, though.
  • Veggie Tales and Penguins books and DVDs – Fun cartoons which teach Biblical morals, stories and Proverbs. I find my Prince especially likes the Penguins DVDs, as they are quite adventure orientated.
  • Creation Ministries and Answers in Genesis– You can find a lot of resources here for both kids and adults. There are DVDs and books on all kinds of topics such as dinosaurs and planets which my Prince finds very interesting.

 

Set goals

Part of being intentional means thinking forward to the end goal of your parenting. One way I do this is to write down a list of goals for each child in three main categories.  Here is an example of some goals I wrote down for my Prince:

  • Spiritual goals
  1. Love God wholeheartedly
  2. Love others unconditionally
  3. Love Scripture & and have consistent Bible study life
  4. Have a deep personal prayer life
  5. Have a ‘ministry mindset’, being a light for the Gospel in whatever he does
  •  Character goals
  1. Love others sincerely
  2. Be able to be a strong leader of family & church, and understand that good leadership is loving and servant-hearted
  3. Be humble
  4. Be generous with money, possessions and time
  5. Be self-controlled and self-disciplined
  6. Able to teach
  7. Hospitable
  8. A peacemaker
  9. Pure
  •  Education goals
  1. Be diligent in doing what he needs to, and completing all work to the best of his ability
  2. Have a good level of education, enabling him to have job security and provide for a family and for those in need
  3. Love learning, not feeling afraid of any topic but rather have a ‘can do’ attitude

What a blessing to be mother to these precious kids!

Once I have these written down I review them from time to time and also write specific ways to train him in those areas, according to his current strengths, weaknesses and abilities.

Being a mother is one of the most wonderful ministries I am blessed to be a part of. As you and I seek to bring our children up in the training of the Lord, may He bless our efforts and grow our children into His image.

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