Writing on the Doorposts

Celebrating nine years of marriage!

When you are a mother, it is sometimes easy to forget that you are also a wife. Sounds silly, I know, but true nonetheless. Taking care of kids is a time-consuming, resource-depleting, emotionally-demanding task, and often by the time your husband gets home from work you have already run into debt in all those areas. But this is not the way it is supposed to be. God wants us to intentionally (do you get the feeling I like this word?!) save time and energy to devote to our husbands. We were created a wife before we were created a mother, and we need to make sure we don’t ignore this role in our lives.

When God created women it was to be a helper for the man (and men to love their wives above themselves! – It’s a two way road). A partner, a friend, a supporter, someone on his team. This is a wonderful calling! The ministry of a wife is to love and help her man through all the joys and trials life brings them. I thought that it might be helpful to get a man’s perspective on this topic, so I asked my husband to tell me five things that he, as a husband, appreciates most. I have listed these below, and under each have put one or two practical suggestions for ways we might carry out our ministry as wives:

1. Show me admiration and respect both privately and publicly in a visible manner.
   –  Guard your tone of voice and mannerisms.
   –  Look for things to praise your husband for, and make sure you verbalise them.
2. Encourage me and build me up to achieve better.
   –  Instead of shaming your husband when you think he has failed to do what is right, pray first and then talk to him in a loving and positive manner, showing that you are concerned, but also that you believe in him.
3. Support me in prayer and encouragement during difficulties.
   –  Set aside time daily to pray for your husband.  The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian is a great book to help you get started on this if you feel at a loss for what to pray for.
4. Be the kind of mother who has our children’s best interests at heart. Be a mother who feels with them, learns with them, gets excited with them and guides them enthusiastically and intentionally.
   –  Remember that your children are another God-given ministry. Check out the previous post for more ideas on this topic.
5. Keep the house on a daily basis – cleaning, washing, cooking, making my lunch for work every day.
   –  If your husband takes a packed lunch, offer to make it for him.
   –  Find out what is most important to your husband in terms of housekeeping, and even if you don’t have much time, try to get those done daily. For example, my husband especially appreciates having the laundry up to date, and having food ready to eat.

Hopefully these ideas have sparked off even more of your own ideas. Why not ask your husband what things he appreciates most, and how you can better serve, love and help him?